5 Ways to get (friendship) off on the right foot in 2013!
MY VIEWS | Mommy Niri | January 2, 2013 at 12:06 pmI know, surprised to see me around here right? Me too! Now that I am back from the plague aka the “flu”, I have taken my germy self to the nearest Panera since they are removing carpets at my home as we speak (more on that later) and a hacking cough (I am seriously embarrassing to be around, and NO, I don’t smoke) and dust make a lethal combination. I have more to talk about on the changes on the homefront but I will say this: we have added “home renovations” to that list of things that will challenge a marriage, night under “Tax Season” and who knows, by the end of this week, it may even get #1 spot.
2013 will also be a change in writing here at MommyNiri.com and Hallmark is partly responsible for that. Monthly they reminded me of my most valuable treasure, outside of my kids that is, and that is YOU! So expect more writing, and some amazing things for my readers. I won’t be making this a sweepstake blog but will be doing fewer, but better, contests for my loyal readers. Did I get off topic again? It must be that cough medication from last night that has not worn off yet (ok, ok, it may just be me).
So while my bulge still has to be beaten, my finances still need to get in order and my home still needs more organization, there are a few other things that I wanted to give a shout out to this early in the year. Friends and relationships are something that I have noticed don’t get the attention they deserve. Amazing that with the # of ways we have to connect in this digital age, the less engaged we are.
1. Make that call!
Go ahead, pick up that device called a phone (yes that same one you text with) and call. Not text, not email, not FB message, but CALL! You know where you hear an actual person speaking. I know, it is sweaty palms scary at times. They may say I’m so busy (and they may actually be busy) but I promise you they will be happy to hear your voice, well unless they have a restraining order against you or something like that. Everyone waits for everyone else to make the first move, like it is some sort of power play. Make that call, take the initiative and be damned if they actually think “Ah she needs me more than I need her!” (their loss if they think that way).
And if someone calls you, for the love of making it pleasant don’t say “What’s up?” – I HATE THAT!!! That makes me feel on the spot like I should have this very important reason to disturb your life because “I just wanted to say hi” does not sound so important anymore. The words are “Hi there, so nice of you to call!” – (repeat it a few times for good practice) may just get more calls back. Don’t tell someone you’re busy unless you really can’t talk and if you’re the “busy” one then suggest a time later and CALL BACK (see #2). For the record, we are all busy, some of us just don’t feel the need to flaunt it and ironically those who don’t feel the need to shout it out all the time are really the busiest.
Now, go search the # and make a call a day. Rediscover the fun of actually using a phone to call people. A novelty, I know!
2. Return that call!
What? Someone called and you were busy? And you mumbled something to the effect off “I’m busy, I will call you later!” and seriously never did? Did you mean to? Is this a common thing? Did you figure if they had the time to call you then they will have the time to call back? Wondering if these other slacker friends don’t understand how busy/important you are? Do you also pretend you never said that and make no mention of forgetting to call when you speak next?
I have some really awesome friends, who do this! In fact the fact that they are really awesome means I have not broken up ties, yet! But it is highly tacky, disrespectful and rude. So dear friend, if you are guilty, and you are probably wincing because you know who you are (and yes I laughed at you joking about it but I don’t think it is funny), stop it. Because while I am just as busy, I make friendship a priority. I have lost enough material things (including a home in political riots) to understand that people are more important so I make the time. I do. I think you’re important that way, but really I think I’m important too. So here’s to making an effort in that direction in 2013, otherwise you may not be getting those calls to return in the first place. Don’t say I did not warn you.
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Thanks girl. I know how painful it is to be on the receiving end so working on being a better friend too
So…uh…my phone hasn’t rung yet! Just kidding.
This is a great post. I especially love the RSVP part. I would also add that if you do RSVP and say you are attending, then do just that. I have hosted many events in the past year where people say they are coming and just don’t bother to show at all or even let me know they aren’t coming.
Honestly, this is just bad manners and RUDE. Either come or don’t but at least give the host the courtesy of letting them know either way. You never know when that next event will be one you are hosting.
Answer my call dammit! Kidding Stacie – and yes, yes, yes! People take for granted being invited and it is incredibly disrespectful. Sometimes I want to return the “favor” but I can’t bring myself to do that to someone else
It’s like you knew that my New Years resolution was to be a better friend… great list!
Yours and mine both Kate – and also appreciate those friends who make an effort more.
Rawr! Hehe But seriously I totally agree. My NY resolution is be more patient: with myself and others. I didn’t realize how little I have.
Dude, right! Talk about a sizzling start to the new Year but it is out there so hopefully I may get may get some calls returned.
Glad you are feeling better. I so agree about the RSVP part – that drives me insane!!
Totally Jodi, I mean how difficult is it to RSVP?
LOL. Such good advice. I’m cracking up with the RSVP dammit one.
Come any party, I am going to link this post in… for real!
So glad you are feeling better my friend – and your list is spot on! (also? LOVE the picture of the small people! ) Miss you! xoxo
My small people miss your small people.
I really need to work on the phone call one. With the little kids I’m terrible at making and returning calls! Thanks for the reminder.
You should add – “Thank You follow-ups”. I need to work on Thank You cards. I am terrible!!! I am always so appreciative of everything that is done for me and yet I rarely follow up with a card. I have a million cards that I have purchased; I have stamps and I own many pens. Why oh why can’t I get a damn card out?
I have “make phone calls” on my resolutions list. I really, really hate it. I do. I’ll be honest. I feel like I’m ignoring the people (little people usually) around me when I take or make calls. It’s the truth! But, I acknowledge it means a lot to people so I want to do better. It’ll be baby steps for me. At least I RSVP!
The RSVP thing kills me! Just be honest. It’s so much easier for everyone involved. I can’t tell you the number of parties I’ve had with free product, even, that I don’t get many responses to. I’m starting to take it personal
Wonderful list! I agree completely with the RSVP thing and ‘What’s up?!’ Another one is ‘What’s going on?!’ Both of these are incredibly awkward to deal with!!
Yes. This! I am feeling the same way and wrote a post on how I want to get back to my friends and back to the basics of blogging. There are so many people I have met in the past three years and while life is busy, I love to spend more IRL time with them! Including you my friend. I had the same bug/cough thing. Took 3 weeks but it gets better! Rest and talk soon!