Dinner With A Side Of Throw Up! #BleachItAway

NEWS | | November 15, 2012 at 8:10 pm

So Clorox partnered with to talk about my messiest moments, as part of their Bleach It Away campaign (stay tuned to the end for amazing details on this program) and I wonder if they have been stalking me… or my kids. Messy is what we do in my house, and unlike most other things we do, we do this pretty well.  If I told people I was a Type A person before kids, I swear I could see them roll their eyes. But you’d believe me right? I mean seriously I ironed my bed sheets, I washed and waxed my car every single month. I polished brassware, heck I OWNED brassware. So add to rugrats to the picture and my threshold drops a few levels.

Now I am the holder of boogers, wiper of butts, stepper on squishy cereal, and wearer of stains. I don’t know if it contagious but the clumsiness of my kiddos passed onto me like a disease. I mean when they were smaller I could pass the blame onto them but now, guess who squirts the ketchup on her fresh shirt before she heads off to an event? Moi! For the record, chunky chains and scarves have become this mama’s best friend for their excellent camouflage benefits.

We’re done with potty season. It was a season that felt like forever and the image of poop on a carpet  is totally etched in my memory for life. Sadly! You would think with a 5 year old and 7 year old it gets easier and I would not blame you an iota if you are swaddling a baby sleeplessly thinking this. But, it does not. Messes seem to amuse and attract little minds. When a friend told me that nothing can make you lose your appetite than sitting with kids, I had not idea what she meant. I do now. Food grinding and displaying the results, spitting, horribly weird mixing of food, dropping the wettest of food ALL OVER is  enough gross stuff to turn your tummy.

But once in a while they move it up a notch. I was totally patting myself on the shoulder at cooking something they both liked. I was proudly looking at the beautiful placemats my friend bought from South Africa and thinking how perfect the quilted washable placemats looked on my tablecloth. A tablecloth, I must add, which was fought furiously about with hubby who thought it was an accident waiting to happen. I disagreed and was personally tired of having a home without those little touches so I kept the look of victory on my face but inside my head there was a whole cheerleading team doing the rah-rah for my classy dining table and (for a change) well behaved kids.

It felt like eternity but maybe the calm lasted 5 minutes before I noticed the Kindergartner get a strange look on her face. You know the look? No, not the serious look toddlers give when they’re about to poop but the look when you know vomit is going to be hurling at anyone or anything within striking distance. You know you should grab something, a wipe, a cloth, or maybe rush her to the bathroom. But no, your feet are glued to the ground and she see the stinky mess all over your floor, placemat and, yes, tablecloth. Short lived cheering in my head. What’s worse? The 2nd Grader is non fazed and continues to eat her food. Seriously the stench made me feel like I would throw up, how could she eat.

You think regular ketchup stains are bad? Wait till you try dealing with throw-up. Solids and gooey liquid make for an interesting cleanup. You would never think that something so yuck could come out of someone so cute..

Of course by night it was all forgotten, and after a few scented candles my kitchen forgave her, and she still got her goodnight kiss.

Not for nothing with Clorox want you messiest moment, luckily there is a reward for sharing. When you share your messiest moment at www.bleachitaway.com you have a chance to win $15,000 and more! Daily prizes of a $50 gift card will also be awarded. Plus, every single entrant will receive a coupon for $.50 off any bottle of Clorox® Regular-Bleach via email for the first moment they submit.

Disclosure:I am being compensated by The Clorox Company to talk about life’s messy moments as part of the Bleach It Away Program.

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