Hey Mom, I Miss You!

MY VIEWS | | May 13, 2012 at 5:33 am

Dear Mom,

For several years after you passed away I hated Mother’s Day. I know I should not, but every time I saw people go on about Mother’s Day it bothered me and reminded me that I did not have a mom (or a dad for that matter). I would not cry, to do so would be to embrace the pain. I found distraction a much better vice.

Then 7 years ago I became a mother. I found a different reason to love the day. Of course the 9 months before I missed you more than ever as there is nothing more you want when you are pregnant than your mama. I had no idea what I was doing. Sure I missed that you never met my sweetheart or that you could not dance at my wedding but there is something that happens when you are becoming a mama, you need your own.

In these 7 years while you remained in my heart you seemed to travel all over me. Sometimes I would catch you in my head as I told my girls memories of you playing 3 tins in the backyard. Sometimes I would see you in my hands that look a little worn out from taking care of everyone but yet still capable. Sometimes my feet would remember you as I pushed myself further than I ever thought possible, and when  think I can’t move anymore, I push some more. The surprise place I found you the most though was in my voice.

I swear I could hear you when I chastised my girls when they were mean to each other, reminding them their sister was their best friend. You can be sure I warn them the same way about not stepping in the puddle with new shoes, and yes like me my kiddo does it anyway. Or when I broke the news to them that sometimes life is unfair but that does not mean we have to be. It must be your voice I hear when I explain to them that my life is empty without them in it.

And you know what mom? They adore me. Me! Just like I adore you. I guess I must be doing something right. I understand now that you will live forever because I am your legacy just like they will be mine. Welcome back mom, glad to have you here. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

Love

your daughter, who is still convinced that I was your favorite!

 

36 Comments

  1. 1
    Jessica says:

    This is absolutely beautiful! Happy Mother’s Day my friend. You are an amazing mom, sounds like you had the perfect teacher! :)

  2. 2
    Felicia says:

    Niri, I am in tears reading this beautiful post. What a wonderful reminder of moms and their impact. Happy Mother’s Day! You truly are an amazing mother.

    • 2.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      I read it on Skype to my sister in South Africa and we were both bawling. Thank you my friend.

  3. 3
    Fadra says:

    Niri – your mother looks like a movie star! So beautiful – just like your post. This was truly a beautiful tribute to your mother and to the fact that we all somehow end up so much like our mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you!!

    • 3.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      So funny that even when I was young I looked at her that way. Really is amazing how we become our moms. Thanks Fadra

  4. 4

    My mom has been gone for 5 years now and this has to be the hardest day of the year for me. I miss her so. It’s nice to know that you’re having a good Mother’s Day and that you’ve found your mom is so much of your life and yourself. Thanks for reminding me that my mom is forever around.

    • 4.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Hugs Toni. I thought 12 years later it would be easier, sometimes I pretend it is. Writing this opened up so many emotions

  5. 5
    Marcella Coe says:

    This was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes remembering my mom who left 30 years ago. I don’t think you ever stop missing your mom. From your tribute your mom was beautiful on the inside and out. Happy Mother’s Day…

    • 5.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Amazing how time passes yet the gap left feels like it will never get filled. Hope that we all move easier, tears and all. Thank you Marcella

  6. 6

    Your mother is beautiful!! Something you both have in common. Happy Mother’s day, friend!

  7. 7
    Des says:

    What a wonderful tribute…it’s almost like I can hear you both saying what you wrote.

  8. 8
    Wahida Mostafa says:

    Breathtaking tribute!!

  9. 9
    Jean Parks says:

    okay Niri, my hubby just brought out a bath towel, I’m sitting here crying my eyes out now. Thank you I needed this today.

  10. 10

    She was so beautiful Niri! Happy Mother’s Day to you, big hugs!

  11. 11

    What a beautiful tribute to your mother, Niri…. she is truly lovely – I can see how much you have in common. Hugs to you my friend on this Mother’s Day.

  12. 12
    Cindy Brooks says:

    Your Mom was truly beautiful. Thanks for sharing your sweet memories of her with us. Happy Mother’s Day!

  13. 13
    Isra says:

    Aww Niri, what a fabulous post. Your mom is gorgeous and she would be so proud of the mother you’ve become.

  14. 14
    Helen Connor says:

    Beautiful and well said. Losing a parent is so difficult. Thank you for sharing this…

  15. 15
    Mommy Niri says:

    Thank you Helen. It was worth spending time this Mother’s Day putting my feelings out there

  16. 16
    Shashika says:

    I am not even a mother, and my mom is still alive (though very far away from me right now) but this post brought tears to my eyes. When you look after kids, you definitely see a lot of what your parents taught you that you did not even realize was in you!

    • 16.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Strange right, how we can passionately feel that way about moms. Nothing can ever replace that

  17. 17
    Dawn Ratté says:

    Niri, I am reading this well beyond Mother’s Day, but can’t tell you how much this piece touched me. You may remember that — like you — I too lost a beloved Mom. What you wrote here is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to your Mom who is surely looking over you and your family with a big smile and lots of love.

  18. 18
    S says:

    I had tears in my eyes after reading this..You are a beautiful and a strong woman!

  19. 19
    ELISA MARIE says:

    I really enjoyed reading this poem is is very beautiful and I miss my mother cause since i was 3 months old my mother died and I didn’t no her at all or either my dad which i really miss him too.

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