Hey Mom, I Miss You!
MY VIEWS | Nirasha Jaganath | May 13, 2012 at 5:33 amDear Mom,
For several years after you passed away I hated Mother’s Day. I know I should not, but every time I saw people go on about Mother’s Day it bothered me and reminded me that I did not have a mom (or a dad for that matter). I would not cry, to do so would be to embrace the pain. I found distraction a much better vice.
Then 7 years ago I became a mother. I found a different reason to love the day. Of course the 9 months before I missed you more than ever as there is nothing more you want when you are pregnant than your mama. I had no idea what I was doing. Sure I missed that you never met my sweetheart or that you could not dance at my wedding but there is something that happens when you are becoming a mama, you need your own.
In these 7 years while you remained in my heart you seemed to travel all over me. Sometimes I would catch you in my head as I told my girls memories of you playing 3 tins in the backyard. Sometimes I would see you in my hands that look a little worn out from taking care of everyone but yet still capable. Sometimes my feet would remember you as I pushed myself further than I ever thought possible, and when think I can’t move anymore, I push some more. The surprise place I found you the most though was in my voice.
I swear I could hear you when I chastised my girls when they were mean to each other, reminding them their sister was their best friend. You can be sure I warn them the same way about not stepping in the puddle with new shoes, and yes like me my kiddo does it anyway. Or when I broke the news to them that sometimes life is unfair but that does not mean we have to be. It must be your voice I hear when I explain to them that my life is empty without them in it.
And you know what mom? They adore me. Me! Just like I adore you. I guess I must be doing something right. I understand now that you will live forever because I am your legacy just like they will be mine. Welcome back mom, glad to have you here. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Love
your daughter, who is still convinced that I was your favorite!
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This is absolutely beautiful! Happy Mother’s Day my friend. You are an amazing mom, sounds like you had the perfect teacher!
Thank you Jessica – this was harder to write than I imagined.
Niri, I am in tears reading this beautiful post. What a wonderful reminder of moms and their impact. Happy Mother’s Day! You truly are an amazing mother.
I read it on Skype to my sister in South Africa and we were both bawling. Thank you my friend.
Niri – your mother looks like a movie star! So beautiful – just like your post. This was truly a beautiful tribute to your mother and to the fact that we all somehow end up so much like our mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you!!
So funny that even when I was young I looked at her that way. Really is amazing how we become our moms. Thanks Fadra
My mom has been gone for 5 years now and this has to be the hardest day of the year for me. I miss her so. It’s nice to know that you’re having a good Mother’s Day and that you’ve found your mom is so much of your life and yourself. Thanks for reminding me that my mom is forever around.
Hugs Toni. I thought 12 years later it would be easier, sometimes I pretend it is. Writing this opened up so many emotions
This was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes remembering my mom who left 30 years ago. I don’t think you ever stop missing your mom. From your tribute your mom was beautiful on the inside and out. Happy Mother’s Day…
Amazing how time passes yet the gap left feels like it will never get filled. Hope that we all move easier, tears and all. Thank you Marcella
Your mother is beautiful!! Something you both have in common. Happy Mother’s day, friend!
To you to my kind friend. Thank you Stacie!
What a wonderful tribute…it’s almost like I can hear you both saying what you wrote.
Thanks Des, funny thing is so can I
Breathtaking tribute!!
Thank you Wahida.
okay Niri, my hubby just brought out a bath towel, I’m sitting here crying my eyes out now. Thank you I needed this today.
Sorry for making you cry Jean but I do hope you felt it a little therapeutic
She was so beautiful Niri! Happy Mother’s Day to you, big hugs!
Megan, thank you so much my friend
What a beautiful tribute to your mother, Niri…. she is truly lovely – I can see how much you have in common. Hugs to you my friend on this Mother’s Day.
Thank you Danielle, coming from you it means a lot!
Your Mom was truly beautiful. Thanks for sharing your sweet memories of her with us. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you Cindy for your kind words. I hope you had a wonderful day as well
Aww Niri, what a fabulous post. Your mom is gorgeous and she would be so proud of the mother you’ve become.
Thank you Isra, I hope she is proud
Beautiful and well said. Losing a parent is so difficult. Thank you for sharing this…
Thank you Helen. It was worth spending time this Mother’s Day putting my feelings out there
I am not even a mother, and my mom is still alive (though very far away from me right now) but this post brought tears to my eyes. When you look after kids, you definitely see a lot of what your parents taught you that you did not even realize was in you!
Strange right, how we can passionately feel that way about moms. Nothing can ever replace that
Niri, I am reading this well beyond Mother’s Day, but can’t tell you how much this piece touched me. You may remember that — like you — I too lost a beloved Mom. What you wrote here is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to your Mom who is surely looking over you and your family with a big smile and lots of love.
Hugs Dawn. The memories may become blurred with time but the feelings don’t
I had tears in my eyes after reading this..You are a beautiful and a strong woman!
Thank you. The strength appears in us when needs arise
I really enjoyed reading this poem is is very beautiful and I miss my mother cause since i was 3 months old my mother died and I didn’t no her at all or either my dad which i really miss him too.
Elisa I hear you. It is so hard not having am mom to turn to or lean on