Picture Perfect!

MY VIEWS | | January 26, 2012 at 12:11 pm

When I was young, I used to chat with my mom that the guy I married had to be this, and this and that. My mom thought they were high demands and wished me luck finding the impossible. I disagreed. I felt that I was a pretty awesome catch myself and any guy who would be with me had better be that awesome too. My logic was clear, if I can be those things to him, how is it expecting those things in return to be anything less? I promised I would not settle. Of course most girls my age had had a head start with dating. Me, I was nose plucked in books, ready to make sure I was earning enough to get out of the drudgery of being poor.

Sadly having no money is just romanticized in the movies and the real picture is anything but. Which meant that I even skipped my debutante ball as I considered it so unimportant, though I attended my sister’s one (loyalty counts right?). Anything pretty and frivolous was  not really taken seriously. Not only was I scoffed at by my cousins for being the boring one, my own sister called me a snob. A label I gladly wore if that meant I preferred to choose what and who I spent my time with or on. I had bigger fish to fry. I had not given up on romance though, as you would have guessed from the piles of Mills & Boon (save the judgement, we all have our things) I hid under my bed. An important criteria was he had to be the “knee-knocking” and “palm-sweating” type.

Fast forward losing my mom I moved to the USA from South Africa continuing my engineering career. Love was the furthest thing from my mind. After meeting my now husband, who lived in DC while I was in Boston (what’s that you say? you want the story? let’s save that for another post) we pretended (or was that just me?) that we were just friends for a while. Succumbing to our feelings and what we considered a destiny together we decided to tie the knot. While every girl may dream of her wedding day, I was filled with practicalities. We lived in different states and he still was finishing up his MBA part time (he was an engineer by day too – what can I say geeks unite) and our families were from different countries.

Deciding to host a wedding in India and fly my sisters there for the wedding seemed practical. Choosing a date that fit in between the holiday period but ensuring we were only away for 2 weeks seemed practical (what is is about people in USA taking so little vacation?). Designing a wedding card from here so I could have some touch of mine seemed logical. Turning up a few days before your wedding and meeting your future in-laws seemed practical (why would I fly twice and waste the leave or money?) Allowing my mother-in-law to choose my wedding clothes seemed practical (Indian clothing is expensive here in the USA and pickings are slim) but admittedly did not digest all too well. Add some family drama and tears and you have the perfect masala for some frustrations all around. Caught up in the “let’s do what makes everyone happy, because I don’t care about the window dressing” attitude meant I let many things go thinking I would never have planned my wedding this way but not saying a thing. Sure I made little goodie bags etc but those were little things. Then I looked at my husband while making promises to each other with a little fire as the witness and we shared a giggle about how we could still change our minds and I knew that the other stuff did not matter. I was marrying my best friend.

Fast forward more financial woes and bringing up 2 kids, with one having a disability, bonds were tested. The practical personalities in us told us to focus on our kids and also keep our dreams alive. He is not only someone who supports my blogging but is an advocate of it. I was just telling my sister on Skype that when I have intense work to do I crave a Diet Coke (we already covered the no judging thing) and he turns up with one. For some girls wine, chocolates and flowers may be their thing but for me a Diet Coke and I am your buddy. Sometimes I look at the glitz and I do get swayed and then I think of my “diet-Coke-deliverer” and realize how much happier I am.

I may not have had a fairy-tale wedding, but I do sure have a fairytale marriage!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, and part of me being a “Hallmark, Life is a special occasion ambassador”. Personally loving the opportunity to share a window to my life.

42 Comments

  1. 1

    You guys really are the picture perfect couple. You are an amazing person, my friend.

  2. 2

    I’ve always thought about things I wish I’d done differently about my wedding but then I always come back to the same thought, we’re married (still married and very happy) and that’s what really counts! It’s lovely to see other couples who have found that same kind of life together.

    • 2.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Not giving up though. I think of renewing our vows someday – my style, not extravagant but just my way

  3. 3

    Hooray!!! :-) I love this, Niri. Love. love. love.

    There’s a reason I write at A Southern Fairytale ;-)

    Love those pics, too

    • 3.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      You Rachel are indeed the epitome of a fairytale, how else do you meld stories, fun, food, and photography?

  4. 4
    Kristen says:

    What a wonderful story and such a great lesson for others to learn… when it all comes down to it, it’s the ones you love who matter (not the accessories that come with them). I’m a “give me a soda and I’m yours” girl too!

  5. 5
    Kate Hayes says:

    As I sit here and sip my Diet Coke (my daily indulgence to get through the second half of my workday), I just have to say that I love this post and love the pictures even more. You were right – you were a great catch – and I’m sure he thinks you still are. I love nothing more than when mommy bloggers write wonderful things about their husbands. Sometimes, you know, they really deserve it. :)

    • 5.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Ok, seriously? Never figured you for a Diet Coke girl, it is my guilty pleasure. Next time we indulge together

  6. 6
    Des says:

    You know you got it all in the end…an incredible family and the knowledge that you always put what matters most first.

  7. 7
    Alicia says:

    I have a diet coke deliverer too! We all have our issues with our husband’s and ourselves, right? However, I think just about any husband of a blogger must have the patience of a saint. Being a Dad alone takes patience.. but being married to a blogger too.. that’s a whole new level. LOVE the photos Niri!

    • 7.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Amen! I do not want to be born as husband to blogger in my next life. I could not tolerate what he does.

  8. 8
    Liz says:

    What a great love story, my friend. I agree with Alicia, my husband has enough patience for the both of us ;) Thanks for sharing!

  9. 9
    Molly Gold says:

    Its so beautiful to see you share your heart and your story ~ what a precious gift in your amazing journey. You deserve every joy!!!

  10. 10
    Felicia says:

    What a beautiful story Niri! I can’t wait to hear what else you have in store through this campaign!

    • 10.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Isn’t it crazy Felicia, but I already am getting excited about sharing my stories. I also love that this is giving me an excuse to dig deeper

  11. 11
    Shana D says:

    Awww I love hearing the history of you and your husband. You guys sound like such an amazing couple.

  12. 12

    I love this post. You are an amazing catch! The pictures are my absolute favorite. Thanks for reminding us what is important at the end of the day.

  13. 13
    Piera says:

    What a beautiful post, Niri and so.true.

    Makes me want to wake up my very own “Coke Zero Deliverer” and best friend right now and give him a hug, but it’s 3 am so maybe not LOL.

  14. 14
    Mary Beth Elderton says:

    What a wonderful story–veryne young woman shoul see your example.

  15. 15
    Vanita says:

    girrrl i love it when you tell these stories. when i remarried we did city hall and lunch. after almost 6 years i can tell you i couldn’t be happier. we keep saying one day we’ll do the “fire walk” as hubby calls it, but whether we do it or not, we have each other and couldn’t ask for more.

    • 15.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      I have seen people who went the full hilt for the wedding and have parted ways now and wonder what the fuss is about

  16. 16
    carol y l says:

    I really enjoyed this. You know what is important. My wedding was planned in a month, tried on only one dress, no months of agonizing over things. I feel many times today the wedding is more important than the marriage. Could that be true for some? Our wedding was simple but beautiful. Married 36 years I could not be happier, with my husband who lets me be me, supports me, and tries to always make me happy. We have lost a daughter and have/had many troubles physically and financially so life has been very hard , especially with our daughter, but he is my best friend. You also have this and it is a wonderful thing indeed!

  17. 17
    PragmaticMom says:

    You are both so gorgeous; love your wedding photo! Loved this post and your husband totally rocks! I am so glad that you found your dream guy by keeping your standards high! Very good role model for everyone!!

  18. 18
    Yona says:

    Oh wow – what a beautiful post!

    It is the best feeling to spend your life with your best friend. My sweetie and I have been together for nearly 14 years.

  19. 19
    Caryn B says:

    What a beautiful post Niri. Fairytales are not all they’re made out to be and it seems like you and your hubby are living your own. Love you friend. Wish you lived closer….

  20. 20
    Divina says:

    Niri thank you so much for sharing. I loved the pictures and your words.

  21. 21
    Amy says:

    You were certainly made for each other. Both amazing. Love your story. :)

  22. 22
    Michele P. says:

    loved the story, thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning :) My hubby is from a different country as well… and when you mix a Franco-American girl with a Guatemalan guy there are some challenges but we’re also very happy and started off as good friends before we became life long partners.

Leave a Reply