A Bit Of Gas!

MY VIEWS | | May 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm

I have been debating for ages whether to write about this since it happened at my kiddo’s school but seriously it was too precious not to share. Also to protect the identities of all parties no names will will be mentioned.

I volunteered (weird word for helping in your own kid’s class)  to do a storytime reading and also to help with activities for a bit. It also happened to be my kid’s birthday which was why I did not cancel after dealing with being ill the night before.  So while the kids loved the reading (how could they not?) I was also eager to help them with activities after. While the teacher suggested I stay with my kid (whose eyes were doing happy cartwheels at the thought of me being in class) another little girl was adamant I stay at the Math table even though my daughter had moved on and rotated to another table. She apparently was finding numbers to be a little more elusive than she hoped.

Did I mention that it was a Kindergarten class? So suddenly a little girl holds her nose and says “What was that smell?” and I look confused as I could smell nothing. That may have something to do with the fact that I had a bit of a cold or that I am a bit slow for stuff in the know (yes, even among kindergarten kids), either way I expected an uncomfortable conversation would ensue that would die a quick death. I, obviously, knew nothing about the fascination of this age with all things quirky. Unlike me, the little girl who was responsible for the emission actually confessed, without looking up from the table. You would think these civilized kids would end the conversation right there. You, too,  would think wrong.

Then a little boy at the table asked what were they talking about. Then girl #1 said girl #2 “tooted”. Woah! I don’t think I had ever heard anyone use that actual word before. “Pass gas” maybe, “fart” definitely but tooted? Ok, so I have heard “tooted” but more in the “toot your own horn” version. I digress. By now girl # 1 is dying a slow death with embarrassment and I try to interject. I reminded them at the table that each of us does it at some point and seriously it  just happens. I caught girl #2 shoot me a quick glance which I could swear had “thank you” written all over it. It did not end there. Boy #1 said he thought it smelled like waffles. Then I gave up!

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