Today I Screwed Up!

MY VIEWS | | December 15, 2010 at 9:05 pm

For all the things that went well this year I managed to make them a blur in face of my behavior today. I normally joke about me getting the worst parent award, well today I would happily take the award. Today is day that will haunt me forever. It started as a crazy day with my 5 year old throwing a tantrum about not having her choice of clothing and when I pointed her to the schedule stating that today was gym so she could not wear a dress she was livid but I was adamant. I probably should have seen the warning bells but I was too absorbed in “my rules especially since we are late” type of mood.

Then after dragging her 3 year old sister to Home Depot in temperatures in the low 20’s I encountered more bouts of crying. I deserved that – what was I thinking taking her there? Today was a day my daughter took the bus home since she did not have therapy right after, which meant a longer day at school. When she got home I quickly took out her school folder, like I normally do, to see the day’s progress report. I saw that she had a fabulous and sang well. Then I read in the special activity slot “Winter Concert

I turned to my daughter and asked her if today was her concert, almost dreading the response since I thought I could guess the answer. As she burst into tears saying “Mama everyone’s mama and papa came and you did not come!” my heart broke into a million pieces. In between the cries of “Don’t talk to me anymore” I was trying to piece together how did I miss this. I knew a PJ day coming up for a Polar Express and I thought maybe a month ago something about a winter concert, but no reminders nothing.

When I asked her why did she not mention anything – she replied that was why she wanted a dress today. Then she told me that one of her teachers said she would be her mom for the event. I was so devastated. She loves performances and pretends to stage shows all the time.

Someday I may feel better and forgive myself but today I feel like crap and I deserve to!

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