Bullies Are Not Born, They Are Bred!

MY VIEWS | | December 9, 2010 at 8:38 am

Bullies! What image does that evoke in you? A picture of big kids picking on some smaller kid and intimidating or beating him/her up? More likely true. That definitely qualifies to be bullying but so does many acts that you may not typically think was bullying. So many little acts that subtly “push” people over the edge. That recent case of the kid in college committing suicide – would anyone have noticed or even considered it bully had he not committed suicide? Does it always need a drastic act to garner attention?

You’re being too sensitive!

Some of the bullies I know call themselves introverts and play the biggest victims but without you knowing it take over a situation and you feel uncomfortable and cornered. Bullying does not always have the picture you may envision but the feelings are similar – though the intensity may differ. Sometimes when you mention it to the bully the common response is “you’re being too sensitive!” or something of similar ilk. We were at a home recently where a kid was adamant that my child not touch his toys. Obviously that made my kid more curious as she stepped near his toys (he was around 9 years old) and he began to physically push her around. Luckily I always carry toys (and bless my iPad) but it disturbed me. Had his parents not known, or not cared – or both? Sure, my kid may not be fair at times (of course all kids test limits) but I am there to always remind her of what is appropriate and what not. That is what parents do. It is our job to steer kids in the direction that we would love them to live their lives. But then again, what habits do we ourselves have?

Do we tailgate, get frustrated when someone is driving too slow? Do we make statements in front of crowds to earn a giggle at someone else’s expense? In fact I recently was subjected to comments which I deemed racist at a blogging event (yeah don’t ever tell me it must be a cultural thing if I have  difference of opinion) which continued while bouts of laughter.

Bullies derive their strength from an audience, let’s not give them one!

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2 Comments

  1. 1
    Sheila says:

    Great post Niri. I agree adults can bully too. I highly respect you and your opinion. I am sorry that kid wouldn’t let your kid play with their toys. I teach Noah it is good to share and play nicely.

    • 1.1
      Mommy Niri says:

      Thanks Sheila,

      I totally get kids (all kids have issues sharing) but getting physical is something where we need to draw the line, especially a bigger kid (age and size). As adults we just help the cycle continue.

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