Finding The Father Figure!MY VIEWS, PARENTING | Nirasha Jaganath | June 19, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I did not like my father. There I said it. I know it is Father’s Day so sentimentality towards dad and fatherhood is booming. But it is true. My dad was not likable, and especially not by me. He had an encyclopedia worth of qualities and habits that made me fear and disrespect him. My mom on the other hand was my hero. I then decided that a girl, or anyone for that matter did not really need a father in their life. Hitting 13 my dad passed away and I felt even more convinced that my life was better off, trust me on this. I felt I was doing fine, although I had a cynical view dads and sometimes men in general.
Then I met my sweetheart. And then I met his dad. Their relationship made me realize although I did not miss my dad, I did miss having a dad. I was jealous of all the affection I missed. I got to experience snippets as my wonderful husband shared his dad with me. Then he died, my husband’s dad that is. I forgot all about the whole daddy drama, until I fell pregnant.
I thought I could do it all, I mean I knew I could. The only issue was darling dearest wanted to be a hands-on dad. I had no idea how to deal with his “meddling” ways. I mean he wanted to be a part of everything. The fact that we had a baby girl did not help. He was putty in her hands. I used to joke that the kids would be sitting on the couch and I would be maid-like serving them. Two girls in tow and it is not so far from there. At any point during the night he would unquestionably answer any cry that came from them. At times I felt like I was being thrown out of the loop like spoiled milk, but I did not mind.
I took his parenting for what it was and never gave it a passing thought until I watched families with dads uninvolved. I began to fall in love with my husband all over again. It may have taken a generation but I found the perfect father figure.