Friday 5: 5 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Just Lost A Job!

FRIDAY 5, MY VIEWS | | September 4, 2009 at 6:04 pm

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Ok, so it is called Friday 5 and I know that means it supposed to appear ON Friday but I am sure you read “They Let me Go…” so give me some bandwidth here. For so many people the Mommy Niri Friday 5 series has been an anticipated read and trust me I look forward to writing it too.  Well this week I will (as usual) focus on what’s on my mind. Many people don’t realize how simple comments sting in light of our current predicament.

  • “You should have called to let me know?” – Seriously, unless you own some huge company and can instantly give me my career back, I have news for you YOU are not my number one priority and frankly in my list of “to-dos” including claiming for unemployment, medical insurance etc you don’t rank high on the list (if at all). The truth is if you are a friend you would find out sooner rather than later.
  • “If you get a new job…” The usage of “if”instead of “when” is both careless and callous. Choose your words, it may not be a big deal to you, but remember in this case senstivity is on the raw.
  • “Are you hosting (or catering) your regular annual party?” Even if I am, people practice some tact. Not the time or place for YOU to be asking. I know you just love the fun and frolic those events are a highlight for you but at this stage it is a low-light for me as the extravagance is sure to remind me of my somewhat empty purse. Just bite your tongue on this one.
  • “Have you seen the the wonderful sales at …?” Again unless it is marked free too may items are marked as a luxury. Spend your money as you wish but there is no need to flaunt it and rub salt in the wounds.
  • “What happened?” Don’t ask and maybe I may just tell. Although it may be news to your ears and you may be dying to know the itty bitty details, it gets tiring to relive the entire episode countless times to each person who wants to know.  In time we may talk about it but for now a little space will work wonders.

Good friends know how to bide their time by just being there close enough but not in your face. Giving you space but helping and thoughtful little acts make a bigger impact than you can imagine.

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5 Comments

  1. 1

    Wishing you well Niri.

  2. 2

    Wishing you well and sending you lots of positive vibes.

  3. 3
    Melissa says:

    I hope you responsibly choose which products to review. Lot of companies are hounding bloggers but the products may not be healthy and nutritious. Bloggers cannot become senseless marketing mouthpieces for junk being sold in this country. My two cents. Hugs!

  4. 4
    Meghan says:

    Good advice, Niri. People keep asking me if anything is new with my hubby’s newly unemployed status. I keep telling them, “I promise – when he gets a new gig – EVERYONE will know.”

    I know people are just trying to be supportive and to show they care but, when we go to our church, it’s exhausting. 15 people asking just makes you depressed when you have to say, 15 times, “Nope, nothing yet.”

    We’re here if you need us.

    I know I broke rule #5 – sorry. I wasn’t trying to be nosy. I was just in shock because of the conversation we’d had just a few days before.

    Ugh.

  5. 5
    kamani says:

    Like always….we have faith that you and the family will bounce back soon.

    We are always here for you

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