Friday 5: The 5 Lies Moms Tell!

FRIDAY 5 | | August 21, 2009 at 9:20 pm


Another Friday passes through as a summer storm makes it way in Boston and we find ourselves waiting anxiously for the next chapter in Mommy Niri’s Friday 5 series. I mean a Friday would not be a Friday without it, right? So this is in celebration of us moms who feel like we are slackers and when we meet the gloaters in moms out there it makes us ill. Well all the boasting will help you not as we, the experienced mom, can see right through your perfectly made makeup and can see the truth for what it is. Speaking of telling it like it is, I have to make a huge shout out to one of my favorite new blogs Aiming Low, go read it, after you read (and comment on) my Friday 5.

  1. My baby has always slept through the night. Oh, come on, if anyone falls for that they deserve to feel guilty that everyone else’s baby sleeps except their own. This reminds me of some colleagues I knew who kept giving a different number to the number of years experience they had in a skill (sometimes 10, almost 11, around 12, just over 9). Let me spell it out for any of you who are first time and also  new moms, it is NORMAL for babies to wake up at night. Anyway it is a new parent’s badge of honor to have bags under their eyes from lack of sleep.
  2. My kids love each other and never fight. Seriously? Either these folks are not paying attention to their kids closely or their is something seriously wrong. If the younger kid is a baby, the older kid may feel no threat (yet) since sharing of toys,is not really an issue. My kids fight but I know they love each other. Siblings and squabbles go hand in hand. I come from a family of 5 siblings so fighting is inevitable and so is loving each other.
  3. One day my child declared no more diapers and that was the end of it. That story is so full of poop and has so many holes in it I can see the peepee running through.  Oh true, I know some kids are faster than others at potty training, but seriously not that fast. That is one stinker of a tale and you should act accordingly and turn your nose (and head) away.
  4. I never regret having kids for a minute. I would love that to be true but come on, when your little princess has a meltdown and smooshes her food all over the floor, because she hates something in it, and your older child decides to pull a prank at that time and takes off and you are laden with packages, in a mall, and if you are still sane then I am a monkey’s uncle. I love my kids oodles but I have had thoughts of bartering them off at times. There is a reason God made them so cute, and bless Starbucks drive-thru for getting me through some hellish moments.
  5. My child is pretty well-behaved and (almost) never has a tantrum. Firstly that is the biggest hogwash ever. Sure kids have different temperaments but parents also have different zone out abilities (aka pretend abilities). These sentiments of my-child-is-so-angelic are normally declared when your kid is having a meltdown. Save it sister, we are way smarter than that!

So if you have a mom friend who “really” has all of these “qualities”, I just have one question, “Why are you still friends?.

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  1. 1
    Aparna says:

    :) Very nice. I always think moms should take it a little easy on themselves and really chill. It is a hard job!

  2. 2

    Thank goodness someone is willing to be honest. I know to many moms telling these little white lies…and more. Why are we still friends…no mom is perfect. I’ve told a few lies myself. I know, I know but I caved under the “perfect mommy” pressure.

  3. 3
    Lorena says:

    I found your blog via Twitter. I love that you tell this because many first time mothers (including myself) feel like failures because our children are not perfect.

  4. 4

    *Laughing* You are spot on! Especially number 4- as the parent of a young adult and a tween-I can assuredly theorize the reason children are cute until they are too big for hamster-like consumption is a sheer act of evolutionary genius!

  5. 5

    If I could add this statement in front of four out of five statements – it would make me feel much better about my parenting skills.

    - “70% of the the time” my kids sleep through the night.

    - “70% of the the time” My kids love each other and never fight.
    - “70% of the the time” I never regret having kids for a minute.

    - “70% of the the time” My child is pretty well-behaved and (almost) never has a tantrum.

    Somehow I lucked out with potty training. There was no declaration that came from them to liberate me but it was a slow gradual process which at some point started working.

  6. 6

    This is so true, I know so many people that think they had the perfect baby (including my Mom about me). She really claims that I never cried, ate and slept well, I didn’t do anything wrong. Hello? Not possible.

  7. 7
    Jessica says:

    This is a great post! Every parent does think their child is perfect, but let’s face it…we all have days we want to throw our hands up in the air and say “I quit”!

    I honestly think parents have selective memories. We all think our babies were perfect little angels, but in reality…let’s get out that baby book and check our notes!

    One of my best friends has an infant and was asking me questions about when my son hit certain milestones. When I read my comments in his book was when I remembered how HARD it was when he was an infant (the crying, feedings, lack of sleep, etc.). That was a reality check for sure!

  8. 8
    Meghan says:

    My kids aren’t perfect…heck no! And at 4:15 this morning I was willing to not only barter away my teething daughter – I would’ve GIVEN her away.

    Nope, I would’ve paid you to take her.

    But, Niri, my boy really did sleep through the night ALWAYS from 9 weeks (the day he started sucking his thumb)until he was 3 years, 3 months (the day we brought his sister home)….except when he was sick.

    How do I know? I kept a daily journal of his life until he was one and a weekly one until he was two. Now, he’s lucky I know how to spell journal.

    Boy is his sister making me pay for those blissful nights in spades, though! She didn’t sleep a single night without AT LEAST two wake-ups until she was eight months old. UGH!

    I’m a fan of that 70% option. That’s a GREAT way to look at it.

  9. 9
    Meg says:

    ok so #3 actually was the truth for my oldest. She potty trained herself 4 days before her 2nd birthday. it was the most amazing thing I’d ever witnessed. unfortunately her younger sister did not follow in her impressive footprints in that department. The other 4 are spot on though! I just crack up whenever someone tells me their baby sleeps through the night. Its like that old card game, I just look at them and want to call “B.S.!” And as for bartering your kids–wow forget bartering, because most days I’d be happy to give them away for free or donate them to Goodwill!

  10. 10
    Tracy says:

    Well, by babies aren’t perfect, but both of them did start sleeping through the night at 2 months for me. That’s not to say there were never “spells” or anomalies, and sickness…..will I be hated for making this declaration? It’s no white lie for me. However, now my little boy wakes me up 3-4 times a week to sneak into bed with me at 5am, so he’s not a perfect sleeper. :-P

    But, they do squabble, and my boy is an expert tantrum thrower.

  11. 11
    Mindy says:

    Oh I love this its to funny and sooo true

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