Friday 5: The 5 Lies Moms Tell!

FRIDAY 5 | | August 21, 2009 at 9:20 pm


Another Friday passes through as a summer storm makes it way in Boston and we find ourselves waiting anxiously for the next chapter in Mommy Niri’s Friday 5 series. I mean a Friday would not be a Friday without it, right? So this is in celebration of us moms who feel like we are slackers and when we meet the gloaters in moms out there it makes us ill. Well all the boasting will help you not as we, the experienced mom, can see right through your perfectly made makeup and can see the truth for what it is. Speaking of telling it like it is, I have to make a huge shout out to one of my favorite new blogs Aiming Low, go read it, after you read (and comment on) my Friday 5.

  1. My baby has always slept through the night. Oh, come on, if anyone falls for that they deserve to feel guilty that everyone else’s baby sleeps except their own. This reminds me of some colleagues I knew who kept giving a different number to the number of years experience they had in a skill (sometimes 10, almost 11, around 12, just over 9). Let me spell it out for any of you who are first time and also  new moms, it is NORMAL for babies to wake up at night. Anyway it is a new parent’s badge of honor to have bags under their eyes from lack of sleep.
  2. My kids love each other and never fight. Seriously? Either these folks are not paying attention to their kids closely or their is something seriously wrong. If the younger kid is a baby, the older kid may feel no threat (yet) since sharing of toys,is not really an issue. My kids fight but I know they love each other. Siblings and squabbles go hand in hand. I come from a family of 5 siblings so fighting is inevitable and so is loving each other.
  3. One day my child declared no more diapers and that was the end of it. That story is so full of poop and has so many holes in it I can see the peepee running through.  Oh true, I know some kids are faster than others at potty training, but seriously not that fast. That is one stinker of a tale and you should act accordingly and turn your nose (and head) away.
  4. I never regret having kids for a minute. I would love that to be true but come on, when your little princess has a meltdown and smooshes her food all over the floor, because she hates something in it, and your older child decides to pull a prank at that time and takes off and you are laden with packages, in a mall, and if you are still sane then I am a monkey’s uncle. I love my kids oodles but I have had thoughts of bartering them off at times. There is a reason God made them so cute, and bless Starbucks drive-thru for getting me through some hellish moments.
  5. My child is pretty well-behaved and (almost) never has a tantrum. Firstly that is the biggest hogwash ever. Sure kids have different temperaments but parents also have different zone out abilities (aka pretend abilities). These sentiments of my-child-is-so-angelic are normally declared when your kid is having a meltdown. Save it sister, we are way smarter than that!

So if you have a mom friend who “really” has all of these “qualities”, I just have one question, “Why are you still friends?.

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