Friday 5: 5 Things Not To Say (or Do) To Pregnant Women

FRIDAY 5 | | February 6, 2009 at 6:08 am

As part of the Mommy Niri’s Friday 5 series, Mommy Niri mentions her pet peeves about pregnancy.

1. Rubbing my belly! It is amazing how everyone assumes that an announcement that you have a bun in the oven is permission to stroke the oven. Total strangers (even if I know you a bit) rubbing my tummy make me want to gag (and much than my morning sickness does). Ask first.

2. I know you must be having a girl (or boy). It seems people know this just by the way you look and seem to think they knew better than the Ultrasound lab technician who could not say for sure. Even when it is confirmed what you are having some people insist they know better. Ask my MIL who was convinced her dreams were a better indicator, even though they were wrong.

3. You’re still pregnant
. This really made me want to hurt someone, especially since with Jia I was 2 weeks overdue (which is not true since we all know 2 weeks before or after is really normal). I recall a colleague asking me at work, “Are you still here?” I don’t recall the exact words, it started off with something like “No, I had the baby and decided I should come in still looking like this.” I then went off rambling, extremely angry (what did they think I wanted to be pregnant forever?) and no one ever asked me that question (at least at work where all were made witness to my outburst). Poor sod, but he deserved it.

4. Are you going to nurse? What business it is of anyone what I do with my body. It makes your skin crawl when people (especially guys) ask this, and often people you barely know. Creepy isn’t it?

5. You’re not going to be able to lose that weight, you know? This came from my GP (ex) doctor, while I was there for a bronchitis check up while 8 months pregnant. That was the last time I saw him, thinking maybe I will lose it, maybe I won’t but he certainly is going to lose me as a patient. We are so paranoid about weight under normal circumstances, pregnancy is tough as it is without people making the pressure worse. Thanks for your concern but I think myGynaecologist will alert me if there is reason for concern.

There were so many things that annoyed me during pregnancy, that limiting myself to 5 things were difficult. Would love to know what your pregnancy vents are.

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  1. 1
    vaishali says:

    OMG, so true.. I think I was asked all of those questions both times I was pregnant. There were times I almost lost it..

  2. 2
    Carla says:

    I totally agree with the ones you posted. But my biggest annoyance is hearing from whiny parents who love to complain about parenthood. I know they love their kids and all but they love to complain about their kids, their lack of sleep, the tantrums. I just don’t want to hear it – you signed up for it…suck it up =)

  3. 3
    Cyndi says:

    What about – “Are you sure there’s only one?”… “Are you sure it’s not twins?” I hated this one!!!

  4. 4
    Mommy Niri says:

    Here’s another of mine (I told you my list was long)

    You look sick (or tired). We feel so self conscious, why would anyone want to make us feel worse?

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    I got #4 alot, to the point it flat out pissed me off, Yes what business is it of your if I am going to nurse, once my mouth went into gear there was no holding back for me to which I responded…..”Did you have sex last night” This was only when random strangers asked if I was going to nurse. I got them to walk away quietly when answering them with a question.Love this one thanks for posting

  6. 6
    JaniceG says:

    When I was pregnant my boss would say “You are so huge!” everytime I walked into her office. I wanted to say, “Yeah, but I still don’t weigh as much as you!”, but I didn’t have the guts.

    What to say to pregnant women? “You look beautiful!” I had a few people say this to me and it made my day. :)

  7. 7
    Stroller says:

    nicely said.. Carla, you feeling feisty today? LOL :P


  8. 8
    Gina Chen says:

    Love, love your list. I’d add one:

    Wow, are you having twins? (This is a bad thing to say anytime, but it’s especially bad if the person knows that no, you are not having twins.)

    I almost ousted my own aunt from my baby shower when pregnant with my second child when she kept asking “Wow are you having twins” even though she knew I wasn’t. She was trying to be funny, I guess.

    It wasn’t funny. At all.

  9. 9
    Purvi says:

    Here is one from an old job..”You seem distracted during the meeting..I remember from my wife’s days that pregnant ladies usually cannot focus at work and perform at the same rate as before…”.

  10. 10
    mommymichelle says:

    The most annoying thing: Are these ALL your children?

    “Lady, you need to find yourself a new hobby”–this from a guy at a doctor’s office when I aws pregnant with my third child.

    Now, that I am pregnant again…”Are you trying to be that Michelle Duggar chick?”

  11. 11

    Mine was also: Oh, you are still here? All the random people that gave me advice. :) Some of it was pretty good.

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