Second Time Around

Uncategorized | | September 21, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Not one to actually love pregnancy, I did decide to have a second kid because there was no way Jia was going to be an only child. By having two girls it made me nostalgic of my own sisterhood (coming from a set of 5 sisters brings with it a wonderful charm). There are so many things different with the second kid. We forget to count in weeks (and even months) the age of our subsequent child, and are less paranoid (read fewer doctor visits). The latter allows for us to enjoy some of the stages without fretting over every little thing like we do over firstborns. It is like “you fell? mmm are you ok? no blood? I guess it is fine”. It is not that we care less second time around, but we get a little confident in our parenting skills (the presence of the firstborn is somehow a testament that maybe, just maybe, we are ok as parents).

Yes the pictures of the second are somewhat nonexistent (my girls share clothes and looks so we may be able to pass one’s photos as the other), but we also try to absorb the moment more now. Then there is all the things we swear we would do different. What a lot of hogwash, we end up being lucky if we can keep up. The romance of the being pregnant the first time round is kicked out to sea by a toddler needing our attention the next time around. Forget naps, rest and not carrying anything heavy. Guess what? No one else is going to lug around that toddler for you. Also you are saddled with guilt for all the things you cannot get down to do with your toddler. That guilt feeling lives with mommies for so many reasons, but I forsee a whole other blog coming on that.

Then when they are born, when we are not trying to prevent them harming each other, we yearn for any affection they bestow on each other. Since I had both my kids less than 2 years apart from each other, the first year was tough (heck the 2nd is no cakewalk either) but seeing my darlings hug or look earnestly for the other, fills a mom with delight. And when they dance together it simply makes my heart sing.

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